Confidence, masks and hats – it’s surprising just how interconnected these things are. But showing some of your weakness is strength. It’s a new revelation that I discovered recently, at lunch with a lovely group of ladies at The Garlic Farm
At lunch, a speaker talked about mindfulness, internal guides, and how we spin all the plates and wear all the different hats necessary to function as women in business. A lot has been written and filmed about the subject of a woman in the modern world, but that day, sitting in a room full of women, was the first occasion on which I truly understood and felt connected to others in the same boat.
I’m sure the sensation of struggling is familiar to many of my readers. We are all trying to hang on to the train, but we feel as if we are missing the handle, being dragged along the rails, perpetually trying to catch up. And then we have guilt – hands up who feels guilty? I always feel guilty for not spending more quality time with my children, husband, dogs, friends… Basically guilt is my second nature now! For working mothers, this is often the norm.
But while we may feel overwhelmed by our many masks and hats, we keep on striving to do better, to do more, to achieve. Why? For me, making a difference is the driving force. I feel proud of my achievements and difference I make in peoples’ lives, I love reading reviews and receiving thank you emails.
It may seem surprising that the realisation that I was not alone in all this came to me during a ladies’ lunch. Yet, being around women like me, reminded me that I am not alone, in my confidence or lack of it, in my struggles to keep up. It may sound cliché but I actually find social occasions quite intimidating. I feel that there is an expectation that I will be a social butterfly who chats amusedly with whoever is introduced to her. See me in my clinic and I will appear confident, but like so many others, that’s not the case for me in all situations. After years of analysing the reasons for my social awkwardness, I came to the conclusion that it’s caused by a fear of being judged wrongly, based on my appearance or my life.
Having suffered with acne before I discovered Environ, my confidence can be threatened if I detect a spot, and like most women, I dread the appearance of new lines. Though my skin is now for the most part, wonderful, I do get occasional breakouts and of course, I age like everybody else. As the face of a skincare clinic, normal skin changes can greatly affect my confidence. But, I remind myself, as I explain to my clients, if someone is a doctor it doesn’t mean they never get ill, it means they know how to get better faster. It is the same with me. I do hold the key to quick recovery and clear skin, which is a consolation.
When people compliment my skin, confidence, success, I always think: if you only knew what I had to go through and still do. I am so lucky and feel very grateful that destiny brought me to England, to the Isle of Wight. For the first time in many years I can be myself and express what I feel without feeling not good enough. I am different and proud of it. That’s what makes me the person I am. If you’re reading this, take off your mask, put down your hat and take a minute to think about what gives you confidence – it will help you find your power to keep going.